Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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