69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
