There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
