so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
