rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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