frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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