There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
