I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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