I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
