He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize