I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
