Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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