whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
