i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
