only if we run a train.
done.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
