using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize