i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You made out with two different species that night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
