dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
