Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
