I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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