As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
