I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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