The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
