Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
