How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
