i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
