Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So squirting runs in the family.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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