eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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