I CAN MOONWALK!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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