I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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