Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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