So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
