WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
