maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
