I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
