can we get nightvision for the apartment?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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