WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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