I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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