im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
