He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
