shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
