someone get that fucking seahorse.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
