Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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