I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
