just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
