Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
