she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
did i just pee glitter
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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