I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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