i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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