I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
