stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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