literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
