Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize