Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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