Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
