honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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