the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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