i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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