Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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